Chasing Joy

So this is the point where I wanna explode. Explode from frustrations, anger, despair, disbelief, disappointment. This is where I ask myself- is it just me? Am I being too hard on myself, or too hard on others? Why do I think like people can be so incomprehensibly incompetent? Without being subjective, I just feel and see people swallowed by the system, the culture, the values, that they've been so comfortably working with for God only knows since when! So this is the part where I am almost convinced this may not be where I should belong. Maybe I am not supposed to stay. Maybe I am not meant to go back. Because just being in the same space and time with these people make me feel sick. It's like I am automatically turn "nega" and "toxic". They say people have a choice. You can always leave. But should you be the one to leave? Is it fair for these kind of people to stay?

If there is one thing people from the world over agree on, it is that life is short. Even when they say life begins at 40. At whatever age we find ourselves at, I think there is a modicum of truth, if not absolute truth when we say, time passes by so swiftly without us really realizing it. If life is so fleeting, how do you really live every moment of it? Maybe the easier question is what do you do with the short time given to you in this world? What if all you ever have is your most precious time? If I was meant to answer that question at this point in time, I would say my daily routine would be waking up, making coffee or breakfast, watching morning news, reading, playing the guitar, watching TV (sure I can't do without some form of entertainment like The Voice Season 14 and Masterchef Kids Season 6), watching evening news, bedtime reading, sleeping... repeat. And of course, an hour of walking as my workout at least four times a week. I have spent 15 years of my life workin...

Like time suspended, a wound unmended- you and I. We had no ending, no said goodbye; for all my life, I'll wonder why. - Lang Leave  A dear friend gave me a beautiful book by Lang Leav. It's my first book by said author. But long before I had my hands on the book, I already had that Lang Leav's quote tweeted. I was struck by her lines the first time I read it somewhere. It reminds me of those last few lines in the book , the Life of Pi... where Yann Martel wrote: “I've never forgotten him. Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart. I still cannot understand how he could abandon me so unceremoniously, without any sort of goodbye, without looking back even once. The pain is like an axe that chops my heart. ” He was of course, referring to Richard Parker the tiger who didn't take one last glance at Pi when the two landed on an is...

I want to dedicate this space to a former office-mate who recently passed away due to brain tumor. I wanted to write about this probably because I felt a tinge of guilt or that admittedly, it makes me sad to think about him and about this sad circumstance. The week before Teody got comatose and consequently passed away, he went to visit me at the office- like he always did. Quite often than anybody who had ever visited me. He did that for one reason: he had longed, needed to get back to work at the CSC again. I knew he was gonna mention his pending work application. He was persistent in trying to be re-employed. And it dawned on me, since his coterminous employment with the ended in February 2011, Teody had struggled to get back to a more stable job. He had struggled for five years to make ends meet. Maybe I never really truly understood how much he needed it- not for himself but for his family. But even if I understood it clearly, I knew then and I know now that I could ...

For the past two days, I've been following CNN's coverage of Pope Francis' trip to the US. From day one when the Pope was received by Obama in the White House as Head of State to his address in the US Congress and the United Nations. For two days,I didn't get hold of the remote control to change channels. I almost didn't want to blink for a second- lest I miss a thing that the Holy Father would do or say. I am not an American; nor have I ever stepped in the US soil. But I know and I have seen what America is- I read about it everyday. I watched it on TV every night. That is why this entire visit of Pope Francis, so far, is turning out as surprising to me as how CNN journalists see it. You see, this is the most powerful country in the world and it's clear that despite its power and riches, it still longs for the fundamental and most important thing in the world. Love, compassion, humility, solidarity. I haven't seen the USA - with all it's personaliti...

I like all things philosophical. So I knew that I was going to like this movie even before I actually saw it. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty . Never have I imagined Afghanistan, Greenland and Iceland in a single movie. It was a feast in the eye. More than the visual effects though, I am drawn to the movie because I see myself in it. And when you see yourself in something, that something becomes meaningful to you. I’m a day-dreamer, too. I think I have a few episodes of zoning out but not the kind that Walter Mitty does. I would day-dream about another kind of life. I dream of me being a different person...living somewhere, being somewhere, doing something else. (Now, that's a confession.) I'm glad I saw this film. It's a great way to be inspired at the beginning of the year. I am never more alive than when I am in another place. A new place. A foreign land… And this movie reminds me of that. I wanna see the world. Really see it. My life starts right here. Right now. ...

The great Oprah said we don't always become what we want to and most of the times, we don't get what we want. But don't lose heart, because everything will be all right. Yes, everything will be all right. I t's a new year, a new start. Same old dreams (with a bit of new ones, too). On the first day of 2014, and bringing with me the lessons of the past year, with a renewed sense of hope and energy, I find myself eager to see the world (world as a relative term :-) ) again.  Really see it. The way I used to. Like a wanderer's fearless motivation...an explorer's curious imagination... Or simply, just like my old self- finding some beautiful place and getting lost. I have grown up (and old) to know that there's no other way. Here we go, 2014 !